Russian Hegemony

I don’t know how many Malaysians were paying attention to the happenings in the Caucus but this Malaysian was. Russia flexed their military muscles in a big way and waited to see what response the world would provide. Their incursions into Southern Ossetia insults the sovereignty of the Georgian government but the latter was helpless to do anything. Stunningly coordinated was also the “liberation” of Abkhazia, another enclave just like South Ossetia with a overwhelming number of Russians who are being “oppressed” because of their ethnic background. I’m sure that Abkhazia’s proximity to the black sea is purely coincidental and that Russia was merely lending a helping hand.

News of Russia’s extra-curricular activities made the news all over Europe and various organizations and countries were quick to condemn Russia for their use of military strength over diplomatic approaches but none were brave or bold enough to castigate Russia. Weeks have passed and the regions of Ossetia and Abkhazia are firmly in Russian control. There is talk of imposing sanctions but Russia’s might is something to contend with and no one really wants to cast the first stone. Europe (both West and East) prefer to take a quieter approach and let the US begin a polemical war and argue why their invasion of Iraq differs significantly from Russia’s military actions.

One thing is for sure, Russia is not a country given to impetuous decisions. The tenebrous pall around the Kremlin conceals an ambition for greater things and a return to their glory days. I personally believe that this act of intrusion is merely the first step in their master plan to acquire more land and with it economic resources under the banner of “liberation”. While the world uttered strongly worded proclamations against Russia, none dare isolate the erstwhile sleeping giant and make an enemy of it.

But all this has given Russia a glimpse into the future. More pussyfooting by the UN and NATO and the EU will result in Russia making more forays into countries dotting it’s boundaries. What has become increasingly clear is that size does matter! Putin ( I say Putin because the puppet master is the one in charge, no?) is not one to be content and rest on his laurels. He will certainly push until he obtains material gains which will safeguard Russia and protect it’s interest Already Russia are working on a trans-Siberian pipeline to Beijing. They are independent and will continue to be so. Expecting Western style democracy and peace-loving measures to be institute is like cutting an appendage off and hoping it will miraculously grow back. Russia has always been a difficult country and with it’s heterogenized population, Western style reforms and political principals are a hard act to follow. As Russia has demonstrate in the past – Russia will do things the Russian way. The world bedamned!

Basically, size matters and having the right materiel is of paramount importance. Russia will continue to vigorously protect it’s own interests even if it’s at the expense of other nations. It remains to be seen, what kinds of aggressive acts by Russia will finally result in economic sanctions, worldwide approbation and possibly military action.

Bizarrely, some friends and I were having a theoretical discussion on what would happen if China decided to invade Malaysia. What if China had some sort of ancient parchment which states that Malaysia is actually a vassal of China? What if the document had a lease life of 999 years? What would happen? My love of hyperbole leads me to conclude that China might just get away with it.

Conversion

I don't get the big conversion issue. Islam is a religion of peace, compassion and understanding and i'm sure that it's adherents want people to obtain that perception as well. All non-Malays have major issues with the conversion process because it seems that the civil court and the syariah court cannot agree on jurisdictional issues. What is clear is that non-Muslim have no locus standi in a Syariah court. A fallout from the recent election is how the government suddenly is focused on making the vague rulings from various court into something more defined.

I just believe that converts should tell their family that they want to convert. I mean what is the big deal. You are embracing this wonderful religion, something which will radically change your life and might possibly enrich it in so many small ways. Tell people, shout it from the rooftops, sing it when you're at the shower and for the sake of your loved ones, tell them. I hope that National Islamic council makes it compulsory but last Sunday's NST has stirred doubts in me.

People should not convert to Islam when the intent is malicious. This must surely be wrong in the eyes of Islam. A husband should not abdicate responsibility simply because he has converted. He is entering a religion which i'm sure has strong views on the family unit and would hate to see it disrupted. He should still maintain his financial responsibility to his family. I mean surely Islam doesn't say that a convert should ignore his past life and forsake all financial and familial obligations.

The powers-to-be should recognize that people are abusing this much loved religion. It needs to stop. Now. Ensure that when people convert, family is present and notices are published in major newspapers. It's a celebration right?. The more people who know, the merrier the conversion.

Petra = Martyr

Just when you thought that things were going to get boring and mundane, the government charges with a trumped accusation of sedition against arguably Malaysia's most famous blogger. I have read his article and frankly i don't see how anyone can be inclined to an insurrection against the government on reading it. It details his opinions on an on-going criminal case but to label that seditions is tantamount to calling Najib honest.

To be fair,Raja Petra did make some slanderous accusations against Najib and wife and it would have made perfect sense if he was charged with libel. But sedition? Come on! This smacks of political victimization. Of course Petra is a canny one indeed and he had several strategies to deal with political persecution if it ever came to that. Petra has refused bail and is willing to languish in jail for a few months. He is demonstrating to his enemies that he is willing to go any lengths to defend his right as a citizen to make fair comments about the political scenarion in the country.

Taking a leaf out of Gandhi and Mandela, Petra is martyrizing himself. Malaysia has once again put itself in a spotlight for it's misuse of the law and it's constant aim to inhibit the role of bloggers who make comments which are hit too close to the truth. Petra is now a hero for the masses. Unlike the Hindraf 5, Petra is in a unique position. He is Malay. He is a Muslim. He is Royalty.

I bet my left eye that the government didn't forsee this turn of events. From now until October, experts will peruse Petra's article and argue the merits of the government's case. Linguists will analyze line by line looking for seditious implications. In short, the article will be dissected in every single conceivable manner. His hearing on October will be keenly followed by legal experts the world over.

I for one can't wait for this to unravel further. As they say... the plot thickens!!

Aisayman..why lah all the bickering?

If i have one wish for the coming year it's that the three political parties that make up Pakatan sit down and discuss what their individual agenda is in private instead of various persons shooting their mouth and raising the ire of the other parties in the alliance.

DAP, PKR and PAS managed to hold it together sufficiently long enough to change the face of Malaysian politics. They have shown the if push comes to shove, they can put aside their differences and work for a united belief. But now it looks like the screw are loosening by themselves. Tempers are fraying and heated words are being bandied like Ecstasy in a rave party.

Suddenly, everyone has a different political goal, suddenly they can't see eye to eye on the simplest of issues. This is exactly what Barisan is waiting for. When the cracks appear, they can make simple subtle comments to emphasise the differences and play one member of Pakatan against the other. Before you know it, chaos will befall and the alliance will slowly dissipate like decaying flesh - leaves a right rotten stink while it does.

I understand that the people who are members of the three groups would like to see that their aims and objectives are met. But let's not forget the bigger picture. Equality and Justice is what pakatan stand for. Sensible use of the country's wealth and sustainabe economic development with the concerns and welfare of the various races being looked after. Thats why i voted for a different administration.

In any case, i feel vindicated in my choice given the activities of the bollocking dentist and his equally bollocking wife. If i've ever felt the urge to obliterate one person from this planet, the bloody bollocking dentist who did plastic surgery will be it.

Bloody Indians!

I find it incredibly strange that the Indian community is suddenly so active in politics. After 50 years of being subjugated, they have now found the courage to speak out when they feel that their political party isn't doing right by them. We have embarked on what appears to be a difficult and stormy voyage, fraught with danger from all sides. We need to work together to support one another because we actually have chance to rewrite history and finally get some respect and recognition.

I was deeply saddened to read of people protesting that Indians are not being given equal representation in the local councils of opposition held states. For 50 years, no on said a thing, meekly accepting the status quo and now when things are different, they expect equality to happen overnight. Change occurred because the people deemed it necessary. The people being the three major races. Everyone deserves a piece of the pie and everyone will get it. In due time. What is the point of ruffling feathers and drawing attention to oneself. I believe that we should let the Indian who are in political office prove their worth and their capability. Let's be different and earn extra positions and place by force of sheer merit. We have never asked for more than we deserve and if things keep going the way they are supposed to, we will achieve equality.

I mean think about it, in less than 2 months the Indian community now holds unprecedented political appointments. Patience is something that needs to be exercised for the time being. The Malay community needs time to adjust to the new status quo.We can afford to do so now.

Musings - Je Suis Diable De L'amour

I've resumed French classes after a prolonged hiatus - 6 years to be exact. I've always had a fascination for for languages and i've been meaning to master at at least one other language. I know that i should probably concentrate on Tamil but god knows that i can't read or write to save myself and that trying to memorise the Tamil script will in all eventuality suck the life out of me.

The good thing about French is that it utilises the Latin alphabet, hence anyone who knows English or other languages with utilise the alphabet have a fair chance of picking up the language. It makes reading something really easy and you can look up strange words in the dictionary. If i did the same for Tamil, it would take me at least half an hour to make sense of the squiggles and whorls and look up the English equivalent.

Strangely enough despite my ineptness in the language i do possess a working knowledge of Tamil grammar, enough years have passed and enough conversations overheard that the grammatical form of Tamil isn't an exotic creature. The same can't be said for French. When signing up for classes at Alliance Francaise, i requested to be put at the 2nd level justifying it by saying that i had done French for 3 semesters some years ago. I assumed that it would all come back to me in due time and that i would have no trouble catching up with the present students.

Last Friday's class showed me exactly what the level was and how much work i had to do in order to catch up. I don't even know my numbers in French!! . We were doing a lesson on how to tell time and i was lost at sea, not only knowing what the words were but how you pronounce them. The lecturer could have been talking in Greek for all i knew. I felt really smart when i saw classmates nod vigorously and start writing. I begin doodling myself and hoped that he wouldn't call on me to answer. But in a class of 7 students ; fat hopes!

Since then i have embarked on "let's be French" craze. I've bookmarked online newspapers and French radio sites and i've been downloading French music and movies. Incidentally i discovered that the wife of the French President is not only a famous model but a well-regarded chanteuse. I lifted this blog's title from the song Raphael. Carla sings it as an ode to the angel Rapahel calling him "a demon lover" . Doubt she would care if appropriate the title for myself.

I'm optimistic that by year end i'll have some mastery over French, maybe i'll even start blog in French!

Sami - Hypocrite Now and Forever

I almost had a heart attack when i read how Sami Vellu did an about turn and is now clamoring for the Hindraf 5. Had the man no shame or pride? If you have a belief stick to it. Don't show us what a lowlife hypocrite you are by jumping on an issue you think will give you political mileage.
I cannot fathom how someone who only weeks before publicly denounce the Hindraf 5 but is now willing to fight tooth and nail to have them released.

And top it all, he keeps being egocentric. Right now, the dude is nobody. He's just the leader of a political party that is slowly going defunct. I would at least have an iota of respect if he had said "MIC has listend to the grassroots and understand how important the release of the Hindraf 5 is to the people. MIC will do all they can to help expedite the release." At least that would have shown that the party is working as a unit to ensure that the Hindraf 5 are liberated as soon as possible.

Always with the "I", the hallmark of a dictator. He wants to prove to to the Indian Community (who btw don't give two fucks) that he still has it. What he has, even the VIAGRA equivalent won't be able to help.

Finding Language

My earliest memories of childhood have me thinking that i was a white boy trapped in a dark-skinned body. Whenever people asked me what my mother tongue was, I would nonchalantly reply English. People would snicker and mutter amongst themselves and gently correct me. “You’re Indian, you mother tongue must be Tamil” Naturally I rebelled against such a notion.
Tamil was as far as I was concerned for lower class people. Only the uneducated spoke Tamil. People of higher stature such as me spoke English. When I went to school I purposely sought out friends who spoke nothing but English usually eschewing Indian friends because I was class conscious and they didn’t speak as good English as I did.

Now when I look back, I’m astounded by the ideas that I had created, the illusion I perpetuated for much of my youth. I partially blame my parents for not inculcating in me the love for my mother tongue. Both mum and dad spoke to me in English all the time. There was hardly a moment where Tamil was uttered to me. I’m not clear on the facts now but I suppose among themselves they spoke it. Just not to me.

My paternal grandparents live in the estates. All they understood was Tamil and smattering of Malay, the type that uneducated speakers would converse in. In fact it sounded like the Malay that Chinese speakers would communicate with. “Lu pigi mana”? would reflect the sort of Malays spoke.

I loved my grandparents unconditionally but I thought it was rather silly that they didn’t speak in English. A typical encounter would involve me speaking in English and they replying in Tamil. I couldn’t articulate to save myself but I had picked up smidgins of Tamil along the way and was able to answer and respond to basic questions.

I’m not sure when but at some point in time during my late teens I became acutely aware of who I was. I think growing up in Malaysia, you don’t really realize that there exists a racial boundary. As kids we have no trouble mixing with friends of different races but our parents have negative stereotypes about the different races. You can’t help but listen as elders talk and you routinely pick up statements that they make and you can’t help being influenced by them. The underlying philosophy was that Indians should stick with other Indians. Only your fellow Indian would help you, a Chinese or a Malay would share a similar ethnocentric sentiment and refuse to help you.

It was only when I began to interact with people and seek out fellow Indians that I was aware of how pathetic I was. I eagerly craved the sustenance that cultural imperialism had brought me but I was severely deficient when it came to my people and my heritage. My increasing closeness with paternal grandparents was the defining factor in my introspection. My failure as grandson to communicate with them about the most simplest of things awakened in me a desire to reinvent and redefine myself. I am not a person to indulge in meaningless rites and rituals but my culture is paramount and it and language are inextricably linked.

It cleaves my soul that till today I can’t have a normal conversation with my grandparents. I’ve never felt sadder then when unable to think of the word in Tamil, I speak in Malay to find out things that happen to them. My grandparents recognize this but they’re still proud of me and what I have achieved. But what I have achieved means nothing if I can’t connect with people who are of my blood. Old people have a lot to say, and I love to listen to my granddad talk. He has all this wonderful stories of his youth and his struggles to survive Japanese-occupied Malaysia. I listen but I can respond beyond the casual “yes, yes,” in Tamil. I want to know more details, dates, people involved, I want to know everything! When grandparents finally leave shed their mortal coil, all I will have is memories. These memories should nourish me and fill me with love, not fill me with shame and stigma that I have failed in the simplest of tasks.

I have many cousins and most of them don’t speak English. An invisible barrier exists between us, one that I try my very best to surmount. A family gatherings, I play the role of an objective participant, listening and aware but never taking part. Deep within me I laugh at the jokes and I envy the simple joys the take from each other’s company. Every now and then one of them will speak to me in halting English, asking about what I’m doing and stuff. That is as much as the conversation would flow. Someday when my Dad is long gone, I fear I might lose this side of my family. And I can blame no one but myself.

I truly understand why it’s called “mother-tongue”. It’s not just a medium of communication. My language has a history stretching back 2000 years and more. All the memories, emotions and philosophy of the Tamil people are encapsulated in it. My language defines me, it provides with a sense of purpose and identifies me culturally with the people who have the same values and beliefs that I do. It transcends the space time continuum, bridging the past with the present and shaping my future.. My name and my appearance reflect who I am. My mother tongue provides me with instant access to the world shared by the same speakers as myself.

I will never feel complete until I have some mastery over Tamil. To that end I try my best to pick it up and to converse with people. I realize that I sound like a foreigner speaking Tamil but I persist anyway. I endure the taunts and the laughter because there is a price for neglecting something so intrinsic to me. I gladly pay knowing full well that someday I will be whole. Someday I will be able to sit down with family and feel at home knowing that the barrier exists no more.

My View of the Indian Dilemma

I recently had a discussion with a close friend about the nature of Indians in this country. He broached his view about how ineffectual the less fortunate Indians were in freeing themselves from the shackles of poverty. His argument was that he knows many people who although came from difficult back ground stills managed to get educated and better themselves. He said to me “It’s proven that people can do it. Why don’t they”?

Why do the impoverished Indians not better themselves? I mean the basic concept of education should come as second nature among the grass roots. It’s prevalent everywhere you go. No one lives in a bubble where the concept of schooling is unheard of. If you have children, they go to school, no matter if you are rich or poor.

The Indian community needs to realize change. The environment are their masters who are preventing them from seeking a higher truth. My time spent with the community showed me that for the most part they all suffered from apathy and ignorance. No one came to these communities to tell them how life could be better. Essentially many are living in servitude. They are aware that a better life is possible but hope has come and gone. They are aware that their children could make it but how many are willing to convert their children to a belief when they themselves lack optimism. I have heard parents say “ we have 5 children, how do we feed them?, I work but my salary is RM500, if my kids help me I can make a bit more. It’s ok, at least the youngest 3 will go to school. My eldest sons/daughters are needed.” It’s a similar story in most places. Survival is something most of us can’t relate to but for these families, everyday is another battle, just hoping that they will make it to the next day without something going wrong.
The need to educate must start with the parents themselves but inevitably they will say “I make x amount of ringgit. I can’t afford it, if you say that my children’s studies are that important, are you willing to pay for their schooling?” This is where the entire community must stand together and pitch in. This is what it means being a community. We take care of one another.

Roles models are required to go and talk to school children. Forget about the Parents! Their time has come and gone. The children are the future of our community. It’s vital that we safeguard them anyway we can. The children must be proud to be Indian. They must come to understand how amazing Indian civilization is and how respected we are in other countries. We must stimulate their minds that the fill themselves with confidence, sure in the knowledge that there are people who care, people who believe in them and people who want to see them succeed. People who make it in life are imbued with drive and an underlying sense of purpose. Some of us are born with it and for others it’s imbued during our formative years. Imagine what drive and purpose can do for someone who is not aware of such concepts?

I think sometimes we ask too many questions and spend too much philosophizing about issues that require physical intervention and not intellectual percolation. A problem exists. What each of us must ask ourselves is what can I do to solve this problem?

Peer 2 Peer and the Indian Community

Peer to Peer softwares allows users like you and me to download whatever that takes our heart's fancy. I've recently been stricken with the downloading bug and consequently an unhealthy chunk of my time is spent researching what movies/serials to download.

For some reason my modem is rather wonky and rejects downloads i make via Torrent applications such as Bit Torrent, Mini Torrent, Morpheus and their ilk. Instead i rely on Limwire which is not bad but i can't seem to find the files i want sometimes.


I did some research on Limewire and i found out that being a user requires me to participate in the sharing process. If I download stuff from other people then other people should be able to download stuff from me.

The Limewire developers are sneaky little bastards, they actually implemented a mechanism which tracks how many people are able to upload file from your PC. There is a system which calculates how "sharing " you are and thus the more sharing you are , the faster download speeds you acquire and the more files you are able to access.

You want free stuff? No problemo! Just share and all will be good. It's that simple!

For the most part the internet community works on the principle that knowledge should be shared, hence they sacrifice time and money to ensure that everyone is able to make full use of the internet without having to worry about giants like Microsoft taking advantage of us users. It's a noble idea and it works!

Why can't we implement this here. If people don't want to help one another, then maybe they should be forced to. The Malaysian community at large suffers from virulent strain of Malaise. Maybe we need motivation to help one another, something that forces us to lend an helping hand because there are genuine,tangible benefits.

Like anyone else, i'm pretty clever when it comes to suggestions but extremely poor when it comes to implementation. Does anyone have any idea how we can manufacture a "sharing" environment and with it a "sharing" community?

The Dawning of a New Era

It's cliched i know, but i can think of anything better except to say that "A new dawn has arrived"!

The unthinkable has happened, for the first time in 50 years, the various races that make up this nation have collectively agreed to vote to make a difference. No one race could ever hope to impact by itself but by working together we have driven home the point. Something is wrong with the way this country is being run. You can obfuscate,deny,avoid,disavow responsibilty but there is only so much the people can take. Who knows what the catalyst was but i believe that the Hindraf movement is solely responsible for enabling the Indian voters to finally be proactive and change their stance. Apathetic and ignorant we once were but now at least we have shown that we do give a damn.

This election will have far-ranging implications on every facet of Malaysian life. The current administrators of the government will be unable to pass any law or resolution in Parliament without 2/3 agreeing to it. The opposition has more than a 1/3 and thus life will be a different ball game for everyone. I picture stalwarts like Lim Kit Siang, Theresa Kok, Karpal Singh and eventually Anwar Ibrahim making life miserable for the ruling party and ensuring that at least some semblance of transparency takes place.

What interests me the most however is the impact on the Indian community. With both MIC and PPP effectively defunct, the Indian community will for the first time in 50 years be unrepresented in Parliament. Essentially there is no specific party with Indian interest’s as their core manifesto. This what we were told before we voted, and when we voted we kept that in mind and we voted against them anyway.

Truth be told, our political parties have never done anything anway except to create misery and unhappiness. You can sway people’s judgment if you’ve actually been contributing. People have long memories, they might be fooled by promises and insignificant cash donations but in the long run, they know deep inside that they have been made a fool of. This is reflected in the spectacular losses of MIC’s key party leaders.

We are where we’ve always been, not anywhere but just a mass of people that need to be appeased when elections come by. For most Indians it doesn’t matter that we have no political representation, because even when we have had it, it certainly didn’t feel like it.
It’s time to give someone else the opportunity to represent us. DAP and PKR and PAS have made bold pre-election claims. They are for “the people regardless of race,culture or religion”. Now is a good time for them to back their words with deeds. This is our hour of need. We have the most to lose and not much to gain and without political support from our brethrens we will most definitely be regarded as irrelevant and consigned to back pages of history.

It will not be easy for sure, but I believe that finally we have capable Indians who are willing to sacrifice all to ensure the continuity of the race. Most have certainly proven it and it’s because of their deeds that I’m willing to listen to their words.

Is there a hope for a Bangsa Malaysia? Now is the time we shall find out.

Vote for Change

As I write this, the last day for fence sitting is over. Most of us have made up our mind who we want to vote for (I hope!).We have been wooed,seduced,cajoled,threatened and warned. Personally my convictions are set in stone. It's time for a change. I want someone new to be given the chance to administer this country. Don’t get me wrong, I'm not anti-government and I’m not pro-government. I have no issues with the government except for the fact that a lot of employees are just driftwood, floating aimless with no fixed purpose except to collect an undeserved paycheck at the end of the month. (But that’s another blog for another time)

We've given BN the mandate for far too long. It's patently ridiculous that any political party should maintain a monopoly on administration. Complacency sets in. Corruption and it's siblings, nepotism and cronyism become far too enmeshed to be removed any other way except for a revolution. I'm not taking of a revolution in the sense of "let rise and revolt!". It's just means a complete turnaround from the way we used to do things.
A new administration would give us the chance to start over, to enact changes that have real consequences for the public, to draft laws and pass resolutions that point us toward a true democracy. No wants to upset an unstable craft, the status quo for the Princes of the Earth can be maintained but just not at the expense of the other races.

Obviously my idealism gets ahead of me but i have to believe that the country can change. I want to believe that people will see whats wrong with the country as it is now and will be willing to make sacrifices to effect the change we so desperately need. I will not believe that people are by their very nature selfish and ethnocentric and they will not want to change even if it's the right thing to do. It's probably naivete on my part but i can learn to live with it.

If there is one thing i have learnt this past few months; people matter and they can make a difference. The Hindraf movement has single handedly raised political awareness among the Indians to an all time high. It's impossible to bump into another Indian without some mention of Hindraf or the Hindraf 5. All this is because the Indian communities have real life heroes. Every Indian should mention their names in a litany when saying a prayer. I only hope that we Indians will honour their sacrifice by casting our vote for change. It does not matter whether we win or lose, only that we do the right thing. The right thing simply means that for once, the entire Indian community must come together in a show of solidarity and commit ourselves for a cause greater than any one of us can imagine. We are striving to make this wondrous country we call home truly home.

This is the motherland. We are striving to give every Indian the right to be educated and a contributing member of society. What we are not striving for is handouts and affirmative action programmes that favour us. We only want what is rightfully ours.
C0me Sunday, a new era will dawn for Malaysian politics and the Indian people. We can only hope and pray that the change we so fervently wish for takes place. A different administration that will govern in a just manner and an Indian party that will not hoodwink and short change us. The lives of our children and their children depend on the course this country will take. I fear that this is our last best hope for change. The momentum is at is strongest now and quite possibly it will never be replicated. I sincerely hope that my next blog posting will be about new order of change and how BN were defeated.


Told you i'm naive!!

Ruman Taman Sinar Harapan

Kuala Kubu Baru is famous for many things. But not many are aware that a home for the mentally challenged has been situate there for almost 20 years now. The home has a separate section for men,women,children and babies. In most cases the kids are abandoned by parents who don't have the financial resources to provide care or are to bogged down with other activities that require most of their time.

The parents would visit at first. It would be regular visits and the kids would eagerly look forward to such visits. The visits would then start to become increasingly infrequent. Sometimes it was only during festivals that the parents would drop by. In some cases their visits stopped altogether or a couple of years would pass between each visit. A few parents would take their children home for the holidays but this is rare. I personally wonder whether going home is a good idea. Home is a paradise on earth compared to the living conditions they face here. It's a shocking reminder of how bad their life is each time they return.

Lest you think that since they are mentally challenged they will unable to differentiate environments, i beg to disagree. In all the cases, the kids become, morose, unfriendly and difficult to handle. It will be a few weeks before they resume normal behaviour (or what passes for normal behaviour in their place)

I first started going to KKB almost 12 year ago. My first glimpse of Ruman Taman Sinar Harapan (The Ray of Hope Home) is not worth mentioning. I have no recollection and i probably wasn't paying attention knowing my sometimes apathetic self. What i do recall was the intense smell penetrating and invading my olfactory senses. It seemed to be radiating in waves. This physical barrier of smell almost made want to run screaming "take me away,take me away" But i held my ground. If my mom could take it so could it. Gotta maintain macho because there were some young girls as well.

I later discovered that the "bad smell" as my parents put it, came from the the kids ward (which was where our group was stationed) . I discovered to my horror that some of the kids in the "hopeless cases" section were swimming in their own fecal matter. I'm pretty sure that since they shared bed with others they might have been swimming in a joint pool of fecal matter. At that point in time though i didn't feel like quibbling with myself over such mundane matters. All i wanted to know was where the hazmat suits were and why this wasn't declared a biologically unsafe zone.

I was given an apron and pair of gloves. One of the older volunteers, Bro Ravi looked at me, poked at me like i was chicken for slaughter and assigned me to the carrying team.He said " looking at his size, i'm sure he can lift heavy things, can't be that all he has is fat". I was quite hurt by his remarks but i cleverly concealed my emotions by staring at him with hate-filled-eyes. Nevertheless I was quite relieved at his pronouncement (despite the fact that it was pompous and demeaning). Carrying Team sounded pretty easy and maybe it involve carrying rubbish outside or something. My carrying partner was Hamish, Bro Ravi's son. He was this cheerful dude who was a couple of years older and had this aura of laidback-ness which was sorely lacking in his old man. He gave me a quick rundown on RTSH and what our duties were.

Quite simply we would carry the inmates, take them to the bathroom where the bathing team would bathe them. We would then take them from the bathroom to another place where the dressing team would clothe and feed them. Later once their beds were clean we would take them back and we would be done. I kinda felt tired after hearing all that. In my youth, i wasn't neccesarily an active person. I was more into intellectual pursuits, something that most people could never understand. Philistines!

There were two carrying teams and there was no time to waste gibbering. I followed Hamish wondering where the trolleys or wheelchairs were. I asked Hamish what on earth would we be carrying and where are the trolleys or whatever that we're going to use. He laughed this sinister laughter and it was then that i saw shades of his father in him. He said "we're the trolleys", grab his legs . And he proceed to lift the guy, encircled his arms around the inmates chest and waited expectantly for me to lift his legs. I meekly complied.

I feel that i should mention that the said inmate was covered in crap. During the carrying procedure, some transference occurred. (something i learnt years later after watching CSI). Basically i now had crap on my apron and my gloves. It was all i could do to not puke because to say i was disgusted was like saying that i enjoy taking it up the ass.

It took me a while to comprehend that there was actually someone's shit on myself. It's pretty hard to describe one's emotions. A complex medley of self-pity, loathing and aversion would best express it. The only thing that kept me from falling of the ledge of sanity was Hamish. He was smiling and laughing away like he was a 5 year old given his favourite treat. I frankly thought that maybe after spending too many years cleaning other people's shirt he had lost it. A product of his environment so to speak (something i picked up from CSI as well ).

I asked him how he could be cheerful in this.. this.. this place. He said that" i'd rather be me carrying them than being them being carried by me". When you're 17 that sounded really profound. I wasn't completely converted but i was willing to be convinced.

No one knew the inmates names, the volunteers just randomly assigned names to the inmates. There was Ah Mok, Karim, Bala, Joe and many others. Once they had names they stopped being entities and they became regular people. They were trying to survive. Unfortunately for them, they were in a government run facility which was understaffed and underfunded. No one really wanted to work in such an environment much less clean these kids everyday.

Our volunteer group agreed to come every Sunday and clean these kids up. At least once a week they (the kids) would know what it was like being clean. I decided early on that somebody had to do it. I truly cared for the kids and i felt that i could make a difference. Since then i've always had the best time possible in KKB. Whenever someone new came in. I would gave him the same cliched spiel Hamish gave me all those years. It still works!

The Fund and The Indian Community

It's been exactly 7 years ago when Alagappa Nagappan decided that enough was enough. He was tired of talking and planning. He was a man of action and the times dictated that he act. The Indian community was in trouble and somebody needed to plan an active role helping these helpless people.

Since he was on his own, he had the time and the energy required to take on a project. He decided that he would start by helping families by providing food. He sent an email to all his friends telling them about his project and how passionate and committed he was.

February 2001 the kitty stood at RM70. Today the fund is at an all time high of RM5000 excluding items given in kind such as rice and milk powder. The Fund now helps 55 families, two tamil schools and the orang asli community in Klang.

The aim of the fund is simple; providing food aid for poor families where there are school going children who are dependant on a single income earner which in most cases is the mother. Help is given on a case-by-case basis looking at levels of poverty, how responsible the parents are in bringing up the children and if the children are going to school.

The children are the most valuable possession of the Indian community and in our opinion it's our duty to safeguard them in a manner in which we can be accountable for. This is precisely the reason two tamils schools have been given aid in Negeri Sembilan.

I'm happy to add that due to the dedication of the teachers and our help both schools performed excellently. The Kirby Tamil school was the top school in the state for UPSR and the Ladang Lenggeng school was number 3. No mean achievement. This has spurred Fund contributors to take a more proactive role in helping this kids. A number of them made some generous cash contributions to the schools themselvels so that the infrastructure could be improved and other amenities created.

MIC has been approached in the past to help these cases but the representatives make the usual promises and at the end of the day they are either not willing or unable to help. Whatever the case, a void existed and Alagappa chose to fill that void.

Personally this has consigned him to a lifetime of service. He knew that when he started this that it would be a commitment for life. Volunteering isn't as easy as it seems or looks. When you volunteer you are promising someone something. You are allowing someone to depend on you because you have promised them your time and labour. In short term project the commitment level is very low. In this case the commitment level is undefinable. The only way the Fund will end is if poverty ends in Malaysia or if he is dead.

It's not easy to justify the Fund's aim and objectives. It's easily argued that by helping them we are preventing people from taking charge of their lives and absolving them of the responsibilty of trying to succeed on their own. It cannot be denied that there have been cases where the goodwill shown has been abused. This unfortunately cannot be helped. All we can do is sometimes monitor closely and ensure that the homes we help are beyond reproach.

To this end we do consult with the school teachers to ensure that the kids come to school as well as to observe their academic progress. Students with potential are given further help. In Seremban we have a single mother of two who's has won Pelajar Cemerlang prize. This clearly indicates that boy has the academic ability to succeed. As a result his tuition classes are being taken care off. The better he does in school the more help he can expect.

Ultimately we hope that all the kids of the families we are helping finish school and are able to create a decent life for themselves. Education is a basic necessity and mothers who are single bread winners are unable to find jobs that ensure their kids stay in school. This is because the mothers themselves failed to complete school in most cases and are unable to procure any meaningful employmeny beyond cleaning houses and washing clothes.

These Indians are living in a vicious cycle. They seem unable to take control of their lives and escape. Let us at least give them a helping hand. We should at least try and knowing that we have tried, have faith that our efforts will not be in vain.

The Embodiment of Evil

Samy Vellu – The Living Embodiment of Evil

We all believe in superstitions,after all how can we not. Living in multi-cultural malaysia, who among us has not heard of pontianak, hantu,orang minyak , toyol and the other denizens of the dark. Exposed as we are to western entertainment, even entities such as vampires and zombies are close acquaintances.

What most people don’t realise is how these supernatural creatures have manifest themselves in todays world. They exist among us and just like the scary stories that revolve around them, the creatures of today have similar agendas. They want to frighten,terrify and immobilise us. They want to bleed us dry and they can watch us suffer with no feelings of remorse.

Who am I talking about? Politicians of course! The current-day version of todays urban legends, flesh and blood beings without a conscience and filled with all that is wrong with mankind. I would love to partake in an extended discourse on kind of racial politics that plague this beautiful country but I think being an indian, it’s best I stick to a subject matter I know best.

MIC is ultimately the organization where the devil lives. Like Mephistopheles in Faust, Samy Vellu dispenses favours at whim and fancy. Anything and everything that would harm the indian society is right up his alley. He has no concern for the majority of the Indians who are poor,oppressed and down-trodden. All he cares is making money and ensuring that the Indians are subjugated. I must say he’s done a phenomenal job these past 3 decades. I think a non-Indian would be proud of the way Samy has systematically dismantled everything that makes us Indian. We have no sense of belonging, we are divided and we are unable to help ourselves. A cycle of perpetual torment that serves the political ambitions of our ruling masters.

Samy and his cronies are no better than the vampires and zombies that you see in movies. They bleed us dry and leave our dessicated corpses rotting under the harsh laws of our dynamic nation state which is falling over itself in a bid to embrace a belief that even it’s most fanatic adherents have trouble conforming to.

When finally a group of white knights come to our rescue, what happens, the dark forces in MIC raise their rabid foaming heads and utter pompous denouncements, claiming that these noble souls are intent on causing trouble. The Indians are doing well. Samy says. Over the past 3 decades he personally has ensured that the India community has grown and that we have embraced diversity and that the future is bright and we will be a force to be reckoned with come 2020. Obviously he was talking about a parallel Malaysia, maybe he watched a documentary on alternate universes and confused fact with fiction. This isn’t really hard to swallow. Just listen to his excuses vis a vis Maika Holdings. Poor man, tries so hard to convince us and all the time he

maintains his straight face and calm caring mien.

Do we actually care? In the wake of the Hindraf lead rallies, the Indian community like sleeping beauty has finally awakend to the grim reality that the erstwhile prince charming is possbily the vilest human being to walk the planet. Hitler deserved that appellation during world war 2. His genocidal regime left a legacy that still haunts survivors. When the earth is finally rid of him, Samy will be comforted no doubt by the fact that he has left a legacy that will definitely outlive him. He has consigned the Indian community to the dumps. The majority of the Indians living in the rural areas are most likely going to remain there for decades to come. They have no education, no money and worst of all they have lost all hope. This kind of achievement needs to be appreciated as it’s taken a lot of time and hard work and misspent funds to make this come true.

Most of us have family we care too much about. We’re not willing to walk down the lonely road the Hindraf 5 have taken. But we can and we will honour them. We must show that their fight is just and the battle is not over. There is victory to be held at every instance. Even though the giant politcal machinery that BN will triumph but if the Indians unite and cast their collectives votes, it will be giant step for Indian unity. The first time ever in recent history that Indians will have put aside their differences and come together as one voice,one people, one race.

So my dear friends, in the coming elections, we must let the country know what we think of the injustice that Samy Vellu and MIC have perpetrated in the only way we can; by casting our vote.